Et tu, Asdalu?
by Enter the Honey Jar
Summary: Every Garif seeks an adventure, and Asdalu is no different. Exploring deep into the Golmore Jungle, he discovers excitement, temptation, drama, and a lot of bunnies. Not particularly in that order. Drug use ahoy duuuuude, and possible adult humor ahead.
1. Prologue

**A happier, m****errier, furrier story for once. Tell me what you think everyone!**

_**Prologue**_

"Dammit, it's raining again."

Asdalu grumbled as he looked out of his hut at the torrent outside. It was smack dab in the middle of the Wet in the Ozmone plain, and after four straight weeks of being constantly inundated with water, Asdalu was beginning to lose his mind. Even the _Nanna_ were generally pissed off about being wet all the time. Whenever the herders tried to milk them, they would instinctively wait until the Garif were at the right angle, and then proceed to unleash a torrent of their own right into their faces. _Nanna_ steak suddenly became a familiar sight at mealtimes.

Two more days passed before the rain finally let up, and this was an opportunity that Asdalu could not pass on.

Asdalu trotted off to his War Chief to inform him of his decision to "frolic in the fields" to celebrate the infrequent break in wet weather. Supinelu saw the Garif coming, and almost immediately knew he was up to no good.

"The flowers sure smell better when they're not soaking, don't you agree my chief?

"Asdalu, what complaints do you bring today? I have had just about enough of your bickering…"

"They smell _SO _nice in fact," Asdalu cut him off. "That it would be a shame not to go out into the meadows and pick them while they are fresh don't you think?"

"You know that exploring the Ozmone is prohibited for another month until the Dry sets in. Sinkholes are everywhere, and I don't want anyone without experience with them just wandering around…"

"Yes, yes, my thoughts exactly."

"I'm not here to reason with you! You know what happened to Engulfedu, I don't want that happening again…"

Before Supinelu could finish, Asdalu was already on his way to the bridge.

* * *

Before long, he was happily racing across the plains on a chocobo, which Gurdy was kind enough to give a discount on. The local Moogle was pretty miffed about being grounded due to the weather as well, but for reasons quite different than Asdalu's. He recalled her talking about Sorbet back at Rabanastre and something scissoring, but Asdalu could not quite comprehend exactly why or what she was cutting with the other Moogle. Some freshly tanned leather perhaps? It eluded him still. 

After running out of Eskir berries, Asdalu impatiently poured a pint of Bacchu's wine down the chocobo's throat hoping he would get similar results. The bird began to jitter uncontrollably and, just seconds after Asdalu instinctively jumped off, spontaneously combusted.

"Well……………..hmm." Asdalu stroked the fur on his chin. "What am I going to say to Gurdy…"

A loud growl resonated from his stomach. Asdalu looked awkwardly at the now roasted poultry in front of him.

"Hmmm….."

That afternoon, the Garif reached the border of a vast tree line. He had heard tales about Golmore, most notably from an androgynous curiosity who wandered into Jahara by the name of Vaan. Apparently, the race of the scantily clad bunny that accompanied his troupe came from this place, and Asdalu was quite eager to find out more about them. He walked into the thickets without second thought.


	2. Chapter 1: Lizard 1, Garif 0

_**There's always a bigger lizard**_

When Asdalu left the Ozmone, he figured he put the wet weather behind him for good. So confident he was that he even left his leather moccasins back at his hut for sandals. This was all about change when Asdalu stepped into his first mound of coeurl dung after just five minutes of bushwhacking. Then another. And another. In fact, mud and coeurl dung are virtually indistinguishable, let alone one feature: the smell. Garif do have a heightened sense of smell compared with Hume, but with dense foliage completely covering the ground and dung pasted practically everywhere, the trait was rendered useless.

Asdalu took pride in having one of the sharpest noses in all of Jahara. But as the gut-wrenching, rubber-burning, egg-rotting stench of the smeared dung rose from his feet, his extra-sensitive sinuses were virtually begging for mercy.

It took a further two hours of grass-wading and bazooka-barfing to reach a small clearing in the jungle. A small tiny stream tricked down from the side of a moss covered rock face, and Asdalu took the opportunity to wash his fouled feet off. The water had a somewhat sour fragrance, but he quickly dismissed it. Leaning over to the stream, he calmly washed off the filth from his sandals and in between his toes, and cupped his hands for a few sips as well. It was unnaturally warm. While Asdalu was busy contemplating the possibility of a natural spring nearby, a deep grunt sounded above him. The Garif slowly drew his dagger from his waist and waited. The colossal head of a Diresaur silently appeared over the rock face and glared down at Asdalu. He stayed perfectly still. The giant reptile stared at him for a while, lost interest, and finally trudged off into the jungle, shaking the ground as it went. Just as Asdalu let out a deep sigh of relief, the stream mysteriously stopped flowing.

* * *

Light began to fade from the treetops. The panthers and their kits snuggled into their dens and dreamed their little feline dreams. The Ents leaned against their favourite tree and snored away (though Ents have no noses). Even the malboros were perfectly at peace within their respective cesspools. Among all this, a single Garif adventurer noisily hacked through the dense vines and ferns in search for his own place to spend the night. 

Eventually, he came across a knoll of soft moss, just large enough for him to lie comfortably on. His decision was made. Dropping his _Nanna _skin bag, Asdalu lazily rolled onto his back and pulled out his little blue cotton blanket. He loved his little blanket, and although the fellow Garif gave him a hard time about it ever since he first received it back when he was still an infant, Asdalu still kept is as a token of his childhood. He got up abruptly and glanced around. Sure enough, no one was in the area; Asdalu didn't want to be caught in public cuddling his precious cover. He gently spread the little blanket over himself and laid back. His eyelids began to droop as the warmth of sleep gradually set in. All was becoming dark…

_Snort._

Asdalu flicked his eyes open. Silence. He promptly went back to sleep.

_Grunt._

Asdalu opened his eyes a second time. He swore he had heard something.

"Ughhhh……probably just a dream hare in heat…," he grumbled, and closed his eyes.

Suddenly, the knoll on which Asdalu was lying on, shifted.

Countless obscenities raced through Asdalu's mind. Keeping his composure however, the seasoned Garif slowly sat up, and turned around. A pair of enormous yellow eyes stared right back at him.

Elder Wyrms do not take kindly to uninvited guests, and Asdalu was no exception.

The angry dragon reared up onto its hind legs, sending the terrified Garif flying through the air. He landed in a puddle with a splash. Scrambling across the ground, Asdalu snatched his _Nanna _sack and as many of its scattered contents as he could, then bolted for the nearest thicket.

All of a sudden, he remembered.

He rummaged madly through his sack, but to no avail.

The Garif spun around just in time to see his beloved blanket disappear down the dragon's throat forever.

"No……no………..NOOOOOOO!!!!!" The cry was long and hard; echoing across the deepest reaches of the sleepy jungle.

* * *

Meanwhile, a couple of wood warders were returning from their night shift, not too far off. 

"By the Wood, what was that?" One perked her ears up. "The most peculiar bellow that was, don't you agree sister?"

"Aye, much anguish I felt in that. Mjrn spilled her carrot juice again, perhaps?"

"I suppose so. Though, I reckon, that sounded much like Rael when Alja and Nera approached her for her 'consent', hand in hand."

"Old-fashioned and a doting sister as always, Rael is." The warder chuckled.

"Or," The other stated. "That one instance when Mjrn came to our dear leader with her belly plump with the fruit of life. Do you recall? Jote's expression when that Hume boy came out from behind and put his arm around Mjrn's shoulder was, for the lack of a better word, priceless."

"I remember all too well." Laughed the Viera. "Quite disgusting and flagrant on Mjrn's behalf, but, I must say, her sister's reaction was quite hilarious. She took a little while to catch on though. But when she did, well, I've never seen her that hysterical during my lifetime."

"I don't think I can disagree."

"Wait," One Viera twitched her ears. "Something is coming. And right for us as well."

"Coeurl?"

"No. Larger. Much larger."

The two warders drew their weapons and waited anxiously for what was to come.


	3. Chapter 2: Moogle Attack?

**Finally! Chapter 2! My opinion about a certain magick in FFXII as mentioned in this chapter is not bias or simple newb-frustration. I know my games. And I'm damn confident that the magick in question fails to aid you in any shape or form during game play.**

_**Moogle Attack**_

The two warders were becoming very concerned. Whatever that was rapidly approaching them was much larger than they anticipated; the ground began to shake with each closing step, and animals were already fleeing from all around.

"I have a bad feeling this will be too much of a burden for us to handle alone."

"Regardless, we must hold our position until we are certain as to what the beast may be. Any information we can give back at the village will be useless otherwise."

"May the Wood show us mercy..."

"Do not worry so sister. It cannot be something too unexpect…"

The Viera was cut short when a terrified Asdalu came tumbling out of some nearby shrubs. Picking himself up in short order, he proceeded to charge blindly in the direction of the baffled warders.

"You there! Halt!" Called out the Viera.

He raced on, completely oblivious of the two.

"…don't look back don't look back DON'T LOOK BACK **DON'T LOOK BACK!!!!**"

"Mother Wood!!" The warders jumped aside just in time to avoid being run over the crazed Garif.

"**DON'T LOOK BACK** DON'T LOOK BACK don't look back don't look back don't look…"

"What was _that?_"

"Well definitely in a hurry it was."

"In flight from this 'beast' in question do you reckon?"

The Viera was irresponsive.

"Sister? What is the matter?"

"Kjrs…ohh…." She stumbled for words. "I…I think I found the beast…" Her voice trailed off.

"Rena! Do not play games with me! This is a serious matter affecting the safety and integrity of the village! Save your antics for…"

Massive droplets of warm, viscous fluid dripped down Kjrs's neck. A hot wind blew threw her hair, sending shivers right down the spine.

"Rena?"

"Yes Kjrs?"

"If we get out of this alive," The Viera said calmly, despite the incessant nibbling sensation on her ear tips. "I am going to love you so much; you will not be able to walk properly for a week."

"Fine, but not with fuzzy jungle carrots like last time; something that is less likely to cause friction burns, preferably."

"Agreed."

The two Viera simultaneously bolted into the depths of Golmore; the giant dragon hot on their tails.

* * *

It took another half an hour for the quadruple expresso shots to wear off. Asdalu wasn't necessarily the fastest or runners, and always relied on juicing himself up to get out of a tight situation. Eventually he slowed down to a walk and looked back. No sign of the giant lizard. 

Completely exhausted, Asdalu stumbled around the trees, looking for a place to crash. So tired he was that he failed to notice two little dark figures creeping up from behind…

_Whunk_.

A bat swiftly made contact with the back of his head and down the Garif went. He could neither think nor move, but Asdalu could just manage make out two distinctly high-pitched voices above him.

"Finally! My hunting skills are really starting to show kupo!"

"We'll see kupo, we'll see. Besides, that thing isn't dead yet is it?

"No, no, just stunned kupo. "But keeping a meal fresh is commonplace in the natural world kupo. Take spiders for instance. You really need to do some more reading."

"True, kupo, true. So how do we make sure this thing doesn't go all angry on us while we roll it down to the camp?"

"Simple. We use a bit of this tranquilizer…"

Asdalu felt a sharp stinging sensation in his left buttock.

"But Tetran! That serum's only meant for ring wyrms kupo…"

A wave of panic swept through the Garif as he tried unsuccessfully to flee.

"Ha ha, look at this kupo! It's twitching all over!"

"Yes, yes but help me tie thing up kupo. Aren't you hungry?"

"You're right. Nighty-night, dinner!"

A bag was pulled over Asdalu's head and all became dark. He felt he was being dragged off, to where he did not know. The tranquilizer had completely numbed his legs, making them useless. Asdalu's consciousness began to fade as the serum spread through his body. Gradually, he began to feel less and less. Sleep was setting in.

Then the tranquilizer reached his colon.

* * *

Rena and Kjrs ducked and dodged as the elder wyrm charged after them. 

"The vanishinga isn't working is it, Kjrs?" Rena breathed.

"I CAN SEE THAT!! For the Wood's sake, it NEVER works!! Damn you Enix for such a useless magick!!" Yelled Kjrs; the dragon's snapping maw just missing her head.

"What about Firega? That might work…"

"Do you WANT to set the whole Wood ablaze??"

"Of course not! But if we were to continue at this rate, there will be no Wood left to burn…" Rena glanced back at the trail of destruction behind them; flattened trees, flattened toadstools, and flattened coeurls littered the jungle floor.

"Kjrn!"

"I…don't think we have a choice then…Kjrs panted. "On a count of three, I'll bolt to the right to get its attention, and in the meantime you cast the spell. Ready?"

Rena nodded.

"Alright. One."

Kjrs drew her sword.

"Two."

Rena brought her hands together and started to cast.

"Thr…

Kjrs ran headlong into a low branch, knocking herself unconscious, her limp body skidding into some nearby ferns.

"No…Kjrs!!" Rena gasped as the wyrm pounced where her companion had landed.

She halted for a moment, but after thinking for a moment, continued on running. She knew that going back alone would only endanger her life, and any efforts to rescue Kjrs without the help of other warders would be futile.

"I will return, I promise…" Rena whispered as she dashed toward Eruyt with all her strength.


	4. Chapter 3: An Unexpected Visitor

**Finally! A new chapter! I'm pretty sure references to (illicit) drugs are supposed to be rated "M", and you will find much of that here. Either way, I hope you all enjoy it, because that's all that counts. (the story, not the illicit drugs)**

_**An Unexpected Visitor**_

Asdalu dreamt he was back in Jahara during the Dry; the brilliant sun flooding the plains with its warm light as he laid back on the fields, soaking up the rays. He could even smell the dry, crisp grass, as well as the scent of freshly tanned leather that filled the air at that time of year. Though there it was smoke mixed in with the other smells, it was nothing he was not accustomed to.

At first.

But as the smell intensified, could not think beyond its steadily growing unpleasantness, and before long woke to discover that one of the leather straps of his pants was on fire.

At that very moment, the Garif also realized that he had been strung up onto a rotary and was hanging over a crackling fire. Cursing profusely, Asdalu looked around, searching for way to escape. Not too for off, two Moogles were slumped against a tree; they were undoubtedly the culprits. Nevertheless, he had to give it a try.

"Hey!" Asdalu yelled, squirming. "HEY YOU!! Dammit…WAKE UP!!"

One of the Moogles lazily got up and stumbled forward, eyes drooping.

"Hmmmgrph?"

"Get me off this thing!!"

"……….ugfh……..me?"

"YES, YOU!"

"……………..is dinerrrr ready yet?……..hehehe"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!!"

The flames rose a little higher.

"OH, DAMMIT!!" The bound Garif struggled with all his might to free himself. It was no use.

"Ohhh…..stop koopo, you'll ruuuin the meal…"

"I AM NOT A MEAL!! I AM A GARIF!!"

"………………………….what?"

The flames were beginning to reach Asdalu's sandals, which were starting to singe at the tips.

"Sooo," the Moogle giggled. "Do you like…..mediummm rare, or…just………uhh……rare?"

"SOMEBODY HELP!!"

A figure leapt out of the nearby bushes and tackled the rotary Asdalu was tied to. It toppled over, sending the Garif rolling across the ground.

"Quite a close call, that was." said a young female voice.

"Oh thank, thank you," Asdalu turned over, hands and feet roped. "I don't think I can ever repay you for…" he trailed off.

He was face to face with what seemed to be a Viera wearing a full body coeurl suit: complete with paws, tentacles, fins, and that dome-thing.

Asdalu's tone shifted. "…for saving….me?"

A long, awkward silence ensued.

"You…might want to put that out…" the Viera pointed.

"Huh, Oh, right, right." Asdalu rolled around, extinguishing his pants. "So, would you mind cutting me free of this thing?"

Asdalu was freed from the rotary, but was bound so extensively that he resembled an overgrown larva, rolling about.

"Of course."

The Viera made quick work of the bindings with her sharp nails.

"Thanks…"

Asdalu could not take his eyes off the little dome perched on top of the Viera's head.

"Are you alright?" the Viera asked, concerned.

"Oh, it's just your costume is a bit….interesting…"

"It is not a costume! It is a hand-made suit requited for Advanced Coeurl Mechanics. I secretly applied to U of R without my sister's, well, leader's consent, and praise the Wood she will not discover may intentions."

"U of R?"

"University of Rabanastre."

"Right……….though I still think you look like an absolute nut-job…"

"Pardon?"

"Oh nothing."

"I see."

"By the way, do you know who those Moogles are? They almost killed me back there!"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Heypth!! Stop talking to our foood kooopo!" The Moogle tripped over himself, got back up, and fell down again.

The Viera walked over to the walked over to the fallen Moogle, who was busy mumbling to himself with his face dug into a patch of moss.

"Tetran! How many times has Hala warned you that dream weeds should not be used beyond medicinal purposes…"

"I like dreeeem weed….hmmmngmphmmm…dream weed make koopo go weeeeeeee!" the Moogle laughed and fell asleep a few seconds later.

The Viera sighed.

"Dream weeds? I've heard of those," Asdalu said. "Pretty potent stuff. Apparently some political group in Dalmasca is pushing for its legalization."

"And here are their advocates." She shook her head. "Though it is quite surprising, at least to me, that a Garif like you would have knowledge of it."

"Well I was a youth at one point," Asdalu chuckled. "Oh, I do miss those days of tear gas and peer pressure…." He let out a deep sigh.

"Interesting. Correct me if I am wrong, but are not Garif supposed to have large antlers on their heads?"

"What kind of question of is that? And besides, aren't Viera _not_ supposed to have little domes on their heads?"

"Pardon?"

"Oh nothing."

"I see."

"Right."

"Yes, about the antlers, it was something that just came to my mind. That is all."

"Well no, actually. They are part of out masks, which in themselves are pretty important. Supposed to be on at all times.

"Why so?"

"No idea. Tradition I suppose. But still, I can't imagine the distress I'd be in if I were ever to lose it. A Garif's mask is almost a part of his life after all."

"Oh."

"What."

"I'm not quite sure as to how I can explain the rather unfortunate situation…"

"You mean….you're not saying that…."

"I'm afraid I am."

Asdalu slowly felt around his head. No antlers, no cape. No mask. The Garif suddenly turned pale, as if a part of him just died.

"What is wrong?"

"The mask…..it must've dropped while I was unconscious…." Asdalu whispered in a panicked tone.

"Well I am sure you can simply find a replacement for it one way or another…"

"A Garif does not 'simply' find a replacement for his mask!! Dou you have any idea how important it is??!!"

Asdalu took off into the jungle, waving his arms around and shouting random obscenities.

"That was indeed peculiar," the Viera chuckled, and turned to the snoring Moogles behind her.

"Alright Tetran, Luluccio. Time to return to Eruyt."

"Hmmmnn….but kooopo, out meeal…" Luluccio muttered.

"Do not worry about that, I am sure Alja can prepare something once we return."

"Just five more minutes…."

"Come on you two! On your feet!"

"….MMMMjrn! Stop treating me…uhh….us. No, me? Wait. Us? Me? You and me is…..mu…? That's makes NO sense…."

"I believe 'us' is the word you are searching for."

"Kooopo! Stop treating US, like your child kooopo…"

"Just start walking."

The two Moogles gave an inebriated salute and waddled off towards the village; the Viera keeping them upright by their pom-poms.


	5. Chapter 4: Sweet Scaly Child of Mine

**Hello all. To get straight to the point, this chapter is a tad more serious than the other ones, but I supposed a little change in pace was due, sometime or another. Tell me what you think! (Sorry about all the typos so far...I really should proof read better)**

_**Sweet (scaly) child of mine**_

Thoughts of Kjrs filled Rena's mind. She arrived at Eruyt during the night, but the obvious dangers of travelling through Golmore at night delayed the rescue party back until the following morning. Rael, the chief warder, assured Rena that Kjrs was not one who would die so easily, and stayed up for most of the night comforting the distraught Viera.

As soon as the sun had risen, a group of three; Rena, Rael, and Alja set off to find their comrade. Alja, though a salve-maker and was incapable of fighting, requested to be part of the party as a test of her medicinal skills if they were ever to be required. Real was reluctant to allow her sister to join at first, considering her lame leg had just healed a couple months ago, but eventually gave in to her confident words:

"Healers are like contraceptives; it's better to have them and not need them than need them and not have them."

After speaking briefly with the Wood, they determined Kjrs's approximate whereabouts and headed out, expecting the worst but praying for the best.

* * *

Kjrs blinked her eyes open. It took her a while to accept that she had not just joined her ancestors, but instead was lying in a shallow cavern. Long vines and flowering ferns draped the entrance as trickles of sunlight shone from between the leaves; a spotted pattern of light illuminating the rock underneath. A jaguar's screech echoed in the distance. 

The warder flexed the muscles in her arms, then neck, then legs. Everything seemed to be attached.

Kjrs warily sat up. The sound of deep breathing could easily be made out by the sensitive Viera ears, but the reverberating effect of the cavern walls confused her senses. She crawled toward the exit, making as little noise as possible.

"_Mew!" _

"………Mew?" Kjrs thought, pausing.

In a blur of motion, a large figure pounced at the warder's back. Instinctively, Kjrs dove to the side and flashed her nails, ready to do battle. With her sword no where to be seen, the Viera warrior tried all she could to conceal her nervous shuddering. Hairs stood up all along her spine. The beast, partially hidden within the shadows with its giant claws gleaming, slowly stepped forward into light…

…and out came a beady-eyed, tail-wagging baby wyrm, trotting on all fours.

"_Meeeww, mew mew!_" it chirped.

Kjrs slumped to the floor. She couldn't believe she just broke cold sweat over such a cuddly (cuddly?) creature no larger than an adult coeurl.

"_Meww?_" the little dragon whistled, questioningly.

"Shhh…" Kjrs put her finger to her lips and made for the trees.

"_Mew!!? Mew meeeew!!_" it called out loudly.

Kjrs's heart nearly skipped a beat.

Thinking fast, the Viera knelt down in front of the baby wyrm and began to purr. It was a Viera mother's trick to put her children to sleep, but Kjrs was no mother, and she was definitely not dealing with an ordinary child.

"Will it work?" That was all that went through Kjrs's mind, and she was just about to find out.

The reptile approached her cautiously. Then, as if in response, began to coo and wriggled happily. Kjrs stroked the thick scales on the little wyrm forehead, purring softly as she did. The Viera watched as the (not so) little bundle of joy's eyes began to droop. It curled into a ball, and before long, was snoozing away. Kjrs found herself petting the dragon's head, which was now resting on her lap, even after she was sure it had gone to sleep.

"A strange thing, that…" whispered Kjrs, smiling.

She never knew wyrms in such a way, and though after close to a century and a half of becoming a warder, tender moments such as this were few and far apart.

It was a price every wood warder had to pay; dedication in exchange for emotion. Most of the warders were a cold and blunt lot, and Kjrs often had trouble finding her place among them. Although a dedicated warder herself, being compliant with the strict codes of her occupation frequently eluded Kjrs. Her greatest infringement however, was love. Rena was a childhood friend of hers, and though their eventual affection for one another was something Kjrs did not expect, her feelings were genuine. She loved her, with all her heart.

Perhaps it was this affectionate part of her made her purr the baby dragon sleep, or it might have simple been her innate knowledge as a female; Kjrs would never know. Either way, it was something, to the Green Word that was, that resembled a very Hume characteristic, and this being the dilemma for any Viera who dared to "love".

* * *

Her leader, being as lenient as she was, allowed Kjrs and Rena to keep their connection so long it was not too overt. Alja and Nera received similar privileges, but their relationship gradually faded, much to the elder Viera's relief. As matriarch, Jote knew that preserving Kjrs and Rena's love within Eruyt was the only thing that insured them staying, even if did seriously conflict with the Green Word. The pair leaving for the world beyond the jungle would otherwise be inevitable, and to Jote, meant that there were two less Viera in the village to carry on their ancient tradition. Eruyt had already lost many to the temptations of the outside world. As leader, this was a dilemma she had to face on her own, and the preservation of her people seemed a much more attractive option than following the archaic guidelines of the Viera. 

Back at the village, the Viera leader was meditating upon her doubts when there was a knock on the door.

"Sister, it is I. There is something I must tell you of."

"What is the matter Mjrn?" said Jote, opening to door.

"Something has entered the Wood, a creature unfamiliar to her branches."

"A threat?"

Mjrn thought for a moment.

"No," she said at last. "But it will certainly cause a commotion. _That_, I can assure you of." She gave her sister a sly smile.

"Oh?"

Jote stepped out of her hut and walked down the village pavilion; her sister calmly trailing her steps.


	6. Chapter 5: Dude, Where's My Mask? Part 1

**Back to standard programming. No room for seriousness here. Ladies, do NOT take advantage of a man's weakness unless you ABSOLUTELY have to. Use peppers sprays responsibly.**

_**Dude, where's my mask? Part 1**_

As Jote was walking down the large wooden steps of her village, she caught a glimpse of what appeared to be Hala scolding a pair of Moogles near the entrance of Eruyt. Little did she know however, that the very two Moogles she saw were responsible for consuming the village's entire supply of dream weed well within the span of an afternoon.

"I not only say this as head salve-maker of Eruyt," Hala preached. "But also as a caretaker of this community."

Tetran and Luluccio stared blankly back at her.

"And, with the rather UNFORTUNATE situation of you two being part of this community, it is my responsibility to look after you wellbeing as well."

"……………."

"How many times must I have to make myself clear?? If it wasn't for your race's ingenuity in coming up with contraptions to get into out warehouses, my salve-makers would still have enough materials to brew a decent potion or two."

"…………….."

"Do you have ANY idea of how many kilos of dream weed "mysteriously" disappeared from the village hold?"

"……………."

"That's what I thought. I find it quite a surprise you two even survived absorbing as much as you did. One might as well deprive Mjrn of her carrot juice to experience the life-threatening situation you two were in."

"I heard that." Mjrn pouted.

"'tis a joke, little one."

"Stop calling me by that name, Hala!"

"Why?"

"Because it is completely misrepresentative of what I am."

"Is that so? It just so happens that you are one of the youngest in the village and, almost as if by COINCIDENCE, equally as low-ranked as a Viera…that is, as far as mammaries are concerned."

"They are purely my sister's genes. I am definitely a victim of her traits."

"What was that?" Jote interjected. "Last time I checked, Mjrn, mosquito bites did not qualify as breasts…which gives YOU the coveted title of 'dashboard'"

"Excuse me? Does miss 'un-deployed airbags' have something to say about another's womanhood?"

"Of course, I'm talking with her right now."

"Pancake."

"Plank-chest."

"…Jote, Mjrn, please…" Hala shook her head. "Ohh, I should not have brought this up…"

"A tape measure!" Mjrn called out. "Does anyone have a tape measure handy by chance??"

"Aye!"

It was Nera, waving her arm at the other side of the pavilion. She had just finished recoding the growth progress of her award-winning jungle pumpkins.

"We settle this, here and now," Jote scowled."

"I will enjoy beating you, sister."

The two Viera trudged off toward Nera, and already there was a small crowd gathering around them.

"Sibling rivalry…Anyway, as I was saying…"

Hala turned around to see, Tetran, having rolled a joint as tall as he was, trying to decide which side to smoke it from.

"By the Wood!"

The Viera reached down and snatched the epic joint from his hands.

"Where in the world did you pull this out from??"

"Hey…..hey Lulu," Tetran stammered.

"Yea…h man?"

"Did you like, see like, where my joint went?"

"Nooo man, whud happened to it?"

"Kooopo, it like, just tooootally disappeared from my hand."

"Awww no waaay."

"Duuuude…"

"Better be careful kooopo," Luluccio chuckled, red eyed. "Maybe there'd be some, you know….like, some inter galactic..al, ultra universe vector bending….super…mega-massive power portaling you joints into another like, dimension."

"Awww no waaay."

"Duuuude…"

"Sweeeeeet."

"Yeahhh…."

"……………….well, I'd better roll another one then."

"No you will not!" Hala barked. "I will not have any more degenerates defiling this village, so long as I am here!"

The two Moogles looked astonished.

"Have you two finally gotten it into you heads?" Hala sighed in relief.

There was a long pause, then Luluccio turned to Tetran.

"Duude, I swear that lamp post was just talking to me…"

"UGH!"

Hala stormed off, throwing her arms in the air.

"Where is Alja when I need her the most??"

* * *

Meanwhile, Asdalu was running all over Golmore looking for his Garif mask. He was sure of his tracking skills and sense of smell, but his goal kept eluding him; it was almost as if the mask was moving around its own. 

It took Asdalu a while, but he eventually worked out that his mask, or whatever that was relocating it, kept a 12 yard radius between itself and any surrounding activity. He began to carefully predict its movements. Before long, the determined Garif was hiding in a bush waiting for his target to come by.

At last, Asdalu heard it; the sound of light footsteps and the ruffling of ferns approaching him. He waited for the right moment and…

"Haha! Gotcha!!" Asdalu yelled as he leapt out and grabbed the long, slender leg.

"Hmm?" Asdalu paused. "High heels?"

He looked up.

A wide-eyed Rael looked back at him.

"Ummm…..hmm. Well you see…my mask…"

But before he could finish, Rael was shooting the puzzled Garif in the face with her Tabasco spray.

"Back DEMON! BACK!"

"OOOWWWW! OH GOD THAT HURTS!!!!"

"Rena!! Come quick!!"

"OWW!! THE PAIN!!!"

"What is it sister??"

"Aid in subduing this demon!"

"I AM NOT A DEMON! I AM A GA…"

Rael unleashed a second round of spray, this time right in Asdalu's mouth as he was trying to speak.

"MMMGPTH!!??"

"Hurry! The ropes!!"

"IMM JUSHD TRIETH DO PHYNENNT MAI MATHKK!! (I'm just trying to find my mask)"

"By the Wood!! You are right Rael! It's speaking in tongues!"

"HAAI! IBTH SHEEN UU BEFOOU!! (Hey, I've seen you before)"

"What in Ivalice is it saying??"

"I do not know Rena, but understanding it is the least of our concerns!"

Rael delivered a swift kick to Asdalu's manhood.

"GRRPTH$#!!???"

The Garif fell to the ground, writhing.

"This is our chance!! Bind him! Quickly!!"

After much struggling, the two warders managed to tie Asdalu up as tightly as he had been before.

"UUUNM, NOGTH AGAEIMN…(Oh, not again)"

"My, that was quite the task," Rena breathed.

"We will interrogate the demon at a later time. Now, we have more pressing matters at hand.

"Of course."

Rael tied the bundle of Garif to a nearby tree, and the two Viera walked off into the jungle. The Tabasco was finally wearing off.

"Owwww, ugh….now what??" Asdalu coughed.

As the Garif tried in vain to wriggle himself to freedom, he could clearly hear the two warders' voices gradually fade off into the distance.

"…but Rael, what of your sister?"

"She will be fine. That girl will catch up sooner or later, you will see…"


	7. Chapter 6: Dude, Where's My Mask? Part 2

**The Garif descriptions are by no means written in stone; they are my best guesses as to what I've experienced so far in the game. What do you think?**

_**Dude, where's my mask? Part 2**_

Alja had grossly underestimated the strains of jungle bush-whacking. She was sweating profusely, and her own scent was beginning to cloud over her sister's.

"If I ever lose scent of them, I may not be able to make it back to Eruyt…" Alja thought. She was already concerned with her situation, and her companions were far beyond eye shot.

"Ohhh, what should I do…hmm?"

The Viera caught sight of an irregularly shaped mound on the jungle floor, wriggling about.

"What in the Wood…"

She crept forward to investigate. Hiding behind a bush, she could easily hear the mound mumbling to itself.

"…that Viera…I definitely remember seeing her before…"

"Umm…excuse me?" Alja said, cautiously.

"What?? Who's there?"

The Viera was not sure what to do next. She walked out of the bushes and around to face the creature.

"Well, I'm Alja," she started, but was soon cut short by what she was seeing.

Its face was long, with a low eyebrow ridge that produced a menacing glare. The pointy ears twitched to and fro; coloured dark beige that matched the rest of its façade. Long, scruffy orange fur swept back from his forehead like a mane, and his cheekbones as distinct as the rusty brown eyebrows. From underneath them, a pair of dim, hazel eyes stared back at her.

"I see. Well, I'm tied up. You mind giving me a hand?"

"Huh? Oh…" Alja's mind went blank; she had never seen such creature before in her life.

"So, are you going to help me or…" it said in a worried tone.

Finally, "Yes, I will. But you must first answer to a small questionnaire."

"……….is this ABSOLUTELY necessary?"

"Of course. Standard Viera protocol."

Alja knew that she was lying, but felt a strange need to look upon the creature a little longer. For a while, she completely forgot about Rael, Rena, and even the mission.

"I think I just experienced some of that 'Viera protocol' not too long ago and that was by no means enjoyable."

"Do not worry, it is completely painless."

"I hope so…"

"First. Hmm…did you see two Viera come by here?"

"Have I?? They got me into this mess in the first place!"

"Not so fast. I need physical descriptions to be sure if it is the two I am looking for."

"Fine."

"Was the first one tall or short?"

"As in, the first one I met there, or met period?"

Alja presumed that the Viera the creature met was his first encounter with her kind.

"Met, period."

"Tall."

"And the second?"

"Tall."

"That doesn't really help me…"

"What kind of questionnaire is this?"

"Just answer the questions."

"Well, what else am I supposed to say? Vertically advanced? Rather elevated? You're a race completely made up of tall individuals!"

"Fair enough. What about hair?"

"Silver."

"Alright, alright. What SHAPE of hair?"

"One had large curls, and the other had long, flowing hair."

"And those were…"

"The ones I saw before, yes."

"That's not possible. Kjrs is supposed to be lost…"

(Kjrs has flowing hair)

"Who's Kjrs?"

"Never mind."

"Yes, yes. Then there was one with large pony tails who violently abused me."

"What? There is a third Viera?"

"No, there were only two."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Of course it does! The long-haired, curly-haired, and pony-tailed; I saw them all except in pairs."

"How can you make pairs out of three?"

"One came before and with the other, you know."

"Wait, who is the one and who is the other?"

"The first and third I met, period."

"…………what?"

"……just cut me loose, would you?"

"Fine, fine."

Alja took out her medical scissors and quickly sliced open the jumble of ropes.

"Whew, that's about time. Thank you," said the creature, bowing.

"You're welcome…" Alja blushed a bit.

"Wait, what's that?"

There was a ruffle in the ferns up ahead, and out emerged a dark blue jaguar. It was wearing the Garif mask.

"By Veless! My mask!"

The feline was shaking its head, trying to get the mask off. It seemed to be stuck pretty well.

"Heeeeere puddy-cat," coaxed the creature.

"I don't think that will work…"

"I'll make it work."

Slowly, the creature approached the jaguar which was now staring distrustfully back.

"Umm, pardon…"

"Hush! I'm concentrating! Over heeeere, kitty…"

The jaguar took a step back.

"No……no…."

Another step back.

"Nooo….noooo…"

It turned.

"Noooooo…………"

It fled.

"NO! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! #$&#:(!!"

"I…I'm sorry! I have to tell you that…."

The creature immediately gave chase, and disappeared off into the depths of the jungle.

Alja sighed, and glanced down the creature's leather leggings sprawled across the forest floor.

"…that I accidentally cut your waist-band while I was freeing you…"

She blushed again.

"Ohh, I sure do hope HE does not find HIS way to the village…I can't imagine the commotion that will result…"

It is said that true Highland Scotsmen do not wear anything under under their kilts, and for the Garif peoples, it is no different.

It just so happened to be that Asdalu WAS indeed, a true Jaharan Garif.

100 percent Garif, equals 100 percent commando.


	8. Chapter 7: New Friends, Old Friends

**Asdalu is almost in Eruyt! But that is by no means the end of the story. This chapter is somewhat of a segway to that, so forgive me if it sounds like filler. I try very hard to make a good story you know!**

_**New friends, Old friends**_

Rena and Rael were making swift progress through Golmore. As hard as a decision as it was, the chief warder left her sister behind to catch up on her own strength. It was Alja's prerogative to follow them in the first place, and keeping up with the other two was equally her responsibility alone. Kjrs had to be found; that was their priority. The two warders dashed further into the jungle without hesitation.

Elsewhere, the Viera, who was supposedly in grave danger, was attempting to teach the baby wyrm tricks that one would otherwise teach to a dog. The little dragon was a bit miffed at first, but gradually accepted the commands as they rolled off Kjrs's tongue.

"Alright, now…..sit!"

The dragon sat, tail wagging.

"Down!"

It propped down into a prone position. "_Mew_!"

"And now……beg!"

Once again, it promptly obeyed, rearing up onto its hind legs with its giant paws sagging. "_Mew mew!_"

"And for the final trick…"

Kjrs was just about to raise her hand in command, but as she did, the wyrm grinned and collapsed right on top of her.

"Mother Wood!"

"_Mewww mew mew!_" it happily chirped, and began slobbering all over the Viera's face.

"Brpthh!? Ha ha ha, stop it!! I can hardly breathe down here!"

Kjrs tried poking the baby wyrm's nose in effort to get the message across.

The wyrm paused. Its nose began to twitch. "_Mi? Mewuuu_"

"Oh….oh no….no no no no!"

_Hwuuuuumf!!_

The dragon sneezed from point black, covering the Viera in slimy wyrm snot.

"Aaaaaargh!!"

Thinking fast, the warder tried another command; one that they had practiced just minutes ago.

"Roll over!"

The wyrm, overjoyed, did exactly as it was told. However, Kjrs quickly discovered that 'roll over' did not exactly mean 'let go', or, for that matter, 'stop at one'.

The two went rolling around the cavern entrance. It was considered inappropriate for a Viera to laugh out in the open, but for Kjrs, she couldn't help it. Laughing and at the top of her lungs she rolled, side over side, head over heels.

Meanwhile, in another part of the jungle, a much different kind of laughter filled the air.

"AAHAHAHAHAHA I'M GONNA GET YOOUUU!" the half-crazed Garif yelled, still chasing the 'masked' jaguar.

Without food or decent sleep for hours, Asdalu was on the verge of losing it, and just moments ago, had finally stepped off the 'deep end'.

The feline sprinted left and right, ducking and dodging around the natural obstacles of the jungle. Asdalu charged on, unhindered and unclothed. Running out of options, the jaguar dashed into a hollow log, hoping it deranged assailant would lose sight. Moments of silence pass.

Suddenly, a giant heel smashed through the wood above the jaguar, stunning the terrified animal. A grinning face wedged its way in.

"HEEEEEERE'S ASDALU!!" he laughed, teeth gleaming.

"??!!"

The jaguar bolted out and ran along the towering Golmore tree branches, slipping and sliding on its damp surface; the Garif in hot pursuit. Higher and higher they climbed, shattering the fragile silence of the jungle canopy.

Alja was sitting on a green tree stump, consumed by her thoughts. She had lost scent of Rael, Rena, and even the strange creature that she met just minutes ago. Lost and exhausted, the Viera knew it was only a matter of time before sundown. And in the cover of darkness, the fellbeasts would come up from the Feywood; she would stand not stand a chance against them if she were to be attacked.

Light was beginning to fade from the treetops. Alja hugged her knees closer to her chest. Her tired eyes panned the surrounding tree line, praying for neither movement nor sound. For a while wishes were granted, but nearing nightfall, there was slight rustle in the bushes right in front of her. She curled up into a tight fetal position under some ferns; being seen just may be the end. Thankfully, her fears were not realized when she heard a familiar voice from above.

"Alja? Is that you? Are you alright?"

It was Nera, dressed in full warder uniform.

"Nera?? Oh thank the Wood you are here!"

"Shouldn't you be thanking me first, friend?" the warder chuckled. "I'd figured that leg of yours wouldn't last long travelling through the Wood, not at Rael of Rena pace especially."

"But how did you manage to leave the village? Patrol hours must have ended hours ago."

"I let my instincts get the best of me, I guess. And besides, a friend is a friend; I helped you then, and I'll help you now. It's as simple as that."

"Nera?"

"Yes Alja?"

"Since when have you become so corny?"

"Oh? Should I take it back then?" Nera smiled.

"No, don't." In fact, I like it…I like it a lot. Thank you Nera, thank you so much."

"Always a pleasure."

Nera hoisted Alja onto her back and began to walk towards the village.

A little while later, "Alja?"

"Yes?"

"You're right, that was pretty corny."


	9. Chapter 8: Welcome to Eruyt

_**Welcome to Eruyt**_

Rena lightly tapped Rael on the shoulder. The chief warder glanced back and nodded for the all-clear. Seldom did any Viera explore the Golmore depths at such a time. Even for two highly experienced warders, the 'Night Wood', as they called it, was a very dangerous place. Their hopes of ever finding Kjrs were rapidly diminishing, but were instantly renewed when Rael heard a peculiar sound.

"Wait, do not move," the chief warder whispered. "Listen carefully."

Wordlessly, Rena obeyed.

"That!" Rael muttered. "It is Kjrs. I know it."

"Aye…it must be! But I also sense much struggling…"

"Then we must hurry. There is only so much our ears can tell us."

The two briskly continued on, towards the steadily growing sounds. The closer they got, Rena grew more and more concerned; heavy footsteps and deep grunts mixed together with their comrade's shouts. It could already be too late.

After several tense minutes of wading through a thicket or ferns, they finally saw it; Kjrs being mauled by what appeared to be a small wyrm. The two were rolling around in fierce combat, and by the look of it, the Viera did tot seem to be on the winning side.

Rena gasped. "Mother Wood's mercy! She must have lost her weapons when became unconscious!"

"Then fed to the pups…" Rael said grimly. "So is the natural order of things."

"We must save her, now!"

"Patience. The opportune moment to strike is yet to come."

"But," Rena protested, sweating. "It's practically _tasting _Kjrs! My Kjrs!!"

She clenched the handle of her broadsword.

"Wait until the beast turns its back to us…only then will we be certain that it will not become alarmed by our presence and flee with her," the experienced Viera said calmly.

"Now it's nibbling on her ears! NIBBLING! Agh! I cannot wait!!"

The Viera charged out from the thickets, sword drawn.

"_Mew?_" The dragon perked up its ears.

"Hmm? What is it?" said Kjrs, puzzled by the dragon's sudden loss of playfulness.

"_Mieuuw…_" it whistled, looking around.

It caught sight of the fuming Viera sprinting right for them, sword flailing.

"_Mew!? Meeeeew!!_"

The baby wyrm picked up Kjrs by her loincloth and took off into the jungle. The Viera was completely oblivious to the fact Rena was only several meters away, but this was mostly due to her face being dragged along the ground as she dangled from the lizard's mouth.

"What are you doing!!? Put me down! Drop it! Dro…grmmk!?" Her head went clobbering over some tree roots.

"Cursed animal!!" Rena yelled.

The furious warder went trucking after them, followed closely by Rael.

"I had a feeling this would happen…" Rael mumbled.

"Kjrs! Kjrs!! It is I! Kjrs!!"

"Rena!? I cannot believe it! Hurry, out away your sword! You're frightening it!"

"What?? I can't hear you!"

"The sword!!! Sheathe it!!!"

"You are going to have to speak louder Kjrs; I didn't catch a word you said!!"

"Can't you see my current situation!?" Kjrs gasped, immediately before something caught her face from the bushes which she was being dragged through.

"Ack! What is this!?" The Viera pulled at the thing that had attached itself to her face. Whatever it was, it was clinging on pretty good.

Rael sprinted up alongside Rena.

"I have a plan," puffed the chief warder.

"Let's hear it," breathed Rena, ducking under several low vines.

"I will run up to its side, and then herd it into the upper canopy paths. Once the beast is among the high branches, we can corner it at our discretion. I need you to pressure it from behind, so the dragon will not turn back on us. Understand?"

Rena nodded.

"Go."

The two warders increased their pace, Rael dashing to the right of the fleeing wyrm. The dragon caught sight of the fully-armored Viera warrior from the corner of its eye.

"_Miiii!_" It let out a frightened cry.

Kjrs was still attempting to wrench the thing that had clamped itself on to her. She eventually tore it off, getting an earful of ferns in the process.

"Finally!" coughed Kjrs and looked at she was holding in her hands.

The Vorpal Bunny stared back at her with beady eyes.

"_Que?_" it squeaked.

"………what?"

She tossed the innocent bunny to the side, sending it flying through the air. Moments later, it found a safe landing right on Rael's face.

"Mmmmff??!"

Rena saw her chief warder's running become suddenly erratic. She stumbled, swayed, veered to the right, and then ran into a rock wall.

"Rael!"

Rena continued her pursuit however, for she glanced back to see Rael stagger back onto her feet. The dragon, surprisingly enough, seemed to have similar plans, as it dashed into the higher canopy paths on its own. The giant tree branches became steadily more precarious as the baby wyrm left the thick of the jungle below.

The lone warder was at the limit of her endurance. Rena felt that the harder she ran, the faster the wyrm climbed. She almost lost sight of the little dragon several times as they darted along the twisting branches.

The wyrm turned a blind corner hoping to lose the Viera for good, but failed to notice the masked figure running straight towards it in time to dodge. They collided with a giant thud.

Asdalu saw the jaguar tumble the side of the branch.

"NO!" The desperate Garif leapt forward, clasping the large horns of his mask, with the feline still attached, just before it disappeared over the edge.

The slick surface of the branch carried him further than he anticipated however, and Asdalu soon found himself going over. He reached out blindly with his free hand and grabbed the first thing he could touch.

"Ah!!" Kjrs gasped as her hair was suddenly pulled toward the abyss with painful force. It was too dark to see clearly, but she knew for a fact that she was still dangling off the wyrm.

"Help! Help!!" she bellowed, slapping the scaly body with her hand.

"_Mewew!! Mieeeuw!_"

The dragon tried pulling back no all fours, but the thin moss covering the already soft wood rendered its claws useless; the surface gave way like butter. The wyrm was about to go over as well when Rena came panting around the corner.

"RENA!! Over here! I'm just about to…" Kjrs said frantically as she slowly slid into the seemingly endless void.

"Kjrs!"

Instinctively, the warder dived forward; throwing herself onto what she thought was her companion's body. The thick, scaly tail wriggled in her arms.

"Mother Wood!!" Rena yelled.

"Don't let go! Don't let go!"

"I…can't hold it…" the warder clenched her teeth, pulling back with all her might.

Uneven footsteps came from behind. It was Rael; the Vorpal Bunny still securely attached to her face.

"Mmmf, mmmmf?"

"Rael! Help me pull Kjrs up…she is going to fall…"

Rael wavered, trying to move forward by touch. Inevitable, she slipped on a patch of moss underneath her, and the chief warder tumbled toward the straining Viera.

Rena glanced back to see Rael about to fall on her.

"Oh no…"

Asdalu was still dangling, and extremely confused; he had no idea as to who or what was yelling above him. The Garif looked down at his mask, then beyond. There was a faint light in the darkness. Just as he thought he had seen some movement around the light, he became weightless.

"Oh no…"

Jote had gathered several of her fellow Viera to her platform, including Mjrn, Lera, and Tjao. "Operation Rabbit Rescue" was taking much longer than expected, and Nera had disappeared as well.

"Should we dispatch another group of warders Jote?" Tjao, the second chief warder in command, suggested.

"No," Lera interjected. "The risks outweigh all else. The Night Wood is no place fore large groups."

Mjrn nodded. "I agree. Greater numbers simply attract more fellbeasts. We must wait until dawn."

I will speak with the Wood," Jote sighed. "She will know what is best."

The leader of Eruyt spread her arms and tuned her senses to the whispers of the jungle. She stood there for a while, her cohorts waiting anxiously.

"And?" Tjao asked as Jote opened her eyes.

"Strange…she spoke of much warning, to 'watch out' specifically."

"What do you reckon that means?" questioned Mjrn.

"I do not know…….unless…" Jote looked upward towards the darkness above. "Wait……..what is tha…"

During the next few moments, the three Viera stood in horror as they witnessed their leader annihilated by the combined falling force of a jaguar, a mask, a Garif, a small wyrm, Rael, Rena, and Kjrs.

The Viera stared wide-eyed at the motionless pile of bodies, mouths gaping. Nera came running up the stairs.

"I have returned sisters! And with me, Alja! She rests at Hala's hut," she said cheerfully, and turned to Mjrn. "I must speak with Jote. Where might I find…….by the Wood…"

Asdalu squeezed his way out of the pile. He did not remember much about the fall, but was grateful for the rather soft cushion that he hit head-first upon landing.

"My mask!"

The jaguar was still buried somewhere, but the mask itself had rolled safely out onto the floor. Asdalu quickly slipped it on.

"Where am I…?" Kjrs coughed as she crawled out from underneath the unconscious wyrm.

"Hurry! Recover the others!" Mjrn shouted, and promptly several Viera went about carrying away the woozy Kjrs. Rael and Rena were pulled out and taken away as well, but they were knocked out cold.

Asdalu looked around, baffled.

"Have I…seen you before?" he asked as he approached Mjrn.

"Yes, I believe you have."

"Any hints?"

"U of R."

"…..…….dome head??"

"Never mind. That was quite the fall you sustained there."

"Oh, I didn't feel much, " Asdalu chuckled, scratching the back of his head. "Just might've lost a brain or so, nothing serious. So, this is your place huh? I like the hardwood floors."

"No. This is all, in fact, my sister's village."

"And where might she be?"

"Well, actually you all just…"

"Mother Wood!! Hala!! Jote is convulsing and…oh GOD! Is a leg supposed to do that??! Now she's foaming! Come quick!!!" Lera yelled.

The two looked awkwardly at each other for a while. Asdalu recalled the soft cushion.

"I have a feeling," the Garif said in a worried tone. "That 'Jote' she was talking about…"

"Yes…that would be her."

"I'm sorry."

"Oh, she should be fine. And, you might want to use this."

Mjrn walked over to Rael, who was being carted away, pulled off the Vorpal Bunny from her face, and handed it to the Garif.

"It does get quite breezy in out village, you if have not noticed already."

"No I haven't but, what the bunny…?" Asdalu paused. Then, looking down, he noticed to his complete and utter humiliation that his mask was the only piece of clothing he was wearing. He hurriedly held the innocent bunny over his manhood.

"_Que!!??_" it squealed.

"I know this may not be the _best _of times for introductions," the Viera chuckled. "I am Mjrn. Nice to meet you."

"I see. Well, I'm full monty. Do you uhh, have any pants I can borrow? I don't think I can keep up a civilized conversation like this…"

Asdalu struggled to keep the bunny in place, which was desperately trying to escape.

"I'm sure Alja would have something. You may find her in the pavilion."

"So, you're saying that I'm supposed to parade all over your village with nothing but this furball to keep my dignity, looking for a person and place that I've never seen before?"

"Yes."

"…………."

"'tis a joke," Mjrn laughed. "Wait here, I will bring her myself."

She began to walk away, but swiveled around after a few steps.

"I forgot to say," the Viera smiled. "Welcome to Eruyt. I am sure your stay here will be most enjoyable."

Mjrn continued down the large stairwell and out of sight.

"_Que?_"


End file.
